My Attempt At Domestic Bliss

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Just like the wise men seeking the Christ child, I, Nicole Thurston, am attempting to seek some sort of Christmas Magic or Domestic Bliss as some might call it.

Look… I get it.. I’m like 20 years late to the party. But Lord knows, I’m a-trying.

Today is the day we head to the Christmas tree farm. This will be only my second time cutting down a tree from an actual place that sells them. I know, I know.. poor little oh Nicole. My family preferred the artificial variety with the bazillion little arms of faux fir going into a metal stand. With all of that saying, it was a very beautiful tree, and just like the thousands of families that enjoy the smell of a beautiful Frasier fir, that plastic that came out of the dusty old tree box reminded me each year of the magical season upon us.

OK.. so we get the tree today. Should be simple enough. And of course, I bought the gingerbread house stuff. Yep. Never tried that either. Perhaps I’m biting off more than I can chew? Who knows…

Last night we gave the ole – Let’s Give The Kids The Perfect Christmas experience fiasco. I woke up in a foul mood, which honestly, rarely happens. But it was what it was… and we made our way to Columbus to go Ice Skating. Tim & I had the joy of sitting in the cold arena for about 2 hours, while we constantly had to coax his kids into making their way around the rink. (I think they held onto the wall most of the time and maybe went around 6 times total.) Thank goodness for the bravery of a little girl all bundled up trying to get the hang of things. We watched this little kid dressed in a fluffy purple coat get completely turned around, falling down, and accidentally doing turns and going the wrong way right in front of our seats. She was a hoot to watch (she would fall and then get up and shoot her dad a thumbs up!) It was adorable. The kids would come back to sit with us and we would encourage them either to get their shoes on or go skate some more. It was cold, we were getting hungry, but we wanted to give them an experience.

Finally, around six, we headed to Five Guys for some burgers and fries. It was Tim’s first time and I think he almost fainted when he heard the total for 4 burgers and fries. ($60.) We ate up and headed toward Callaway Gardens to check out the Fantasy of Lights.

Here’s where this turns into a freaking Griswald Christmas – Tim decides to release this man-sized burp. Something that I can’t stand from anyone, and when I say don’t burp around me.. I mean it..

(I’m actually gagging as I type this.)

Anyway.. it happened. And I proceeded to…

Wait for it…

Vomit. Into my hand. Seriously. Tim is dying laughing, the kids are giggling.. and I roll down the window and threw it out the window…

This is as we are driving 80 down the interstate.

I don’t want to go into any greater detail… just it was traumatizing… and embarrassing.. and… I think he finally gets it now. I don’t do bodily functions.

So I sit for about 30 more minutes in a car, frozen in place, mortified and we roll up to Callaway Gardens. We park waaaaaaaay back and begin to wander aimlessly looking for a ticket booth. We make it in, the kids are whining, Tim is trying his best to keep everyone happy, and as we were standing I line, I looked over and saw a coffee/coco line and suggested he go over there and I’ll get the tickets. After 15 minutes, it is finally my turn and I tell them – 4 adults and we were riding in our own car. That’s $28 dollars a person. (I’m thinking, these lights better blow me away..) and the guy informs me, the first available slot would be for us to go through at midnight.

Say what?

PS – It’s 7:45 at this point. I said.. um.. I’ll be back. I get out of line, track down Tim and we looked at each other and said, Uh no. Of course, one of our kids is Miss Sassy Pants and she had a few words to say. That turned into a Sass Attack and well.. we all were pouting and disappointed and pissed with each other as we trekked our way back to the car.

Then in fine Nicole form, I begin to make suggestions of things to do when we get back  to Columbus. Nothing. Both kids were pouting and Tim was so mad at himself for not checking the website first. I kept telling him, “Hey – we could always come back another day or after Christmas (they are opened a week after.)) And he was not having any of it. Finally we all agreed on one thing – Starbucks. So this Christmas season, I would like to thank Starbucks for saving what was about to turn into the worst day possible for our family outing.

*sigh*

And with that… I will conquer the tree today. Granted, I don’t have any of my Christmas stuff here (in storage in Macon.) But.. I will make do. New transitions are NOT easy.. but oh the stories they make…

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